REVIEW: ‘The Neighbors’ (ABC – Wednesday, 9:30 p.m.)

EDITORIAL NOTE: To understand how we do our reviews, please refer to our review of Revolution, here.

Meet the Weavers, Debbie (Jami Gertz) and Marty (Lenny Venito). Marty, in hopes of providing a better life for his wife and three kids, recently bought a home in Hidden Hills, a gated New Jersey townhome community with its own golf course. Hidden Hills is so exclusive that a house hasn’t come on the market in 10 years. But one finally did and the Weavers got it!

It’s clear from day one that the residents of Hidden Hills are a little different. For starters, their new neighbors all have pro-athlete names like Reggie Jackson (Tim Jo), Jackie Joyner-Kersee (Toks Olagundoye), Dick Butkis (Ian Patrick) and Larry Bird (Simon Templeman). Over dinner, Marty and his family discover that their neighbors receive nourishment through their eyes by reading books, rather than eating. The Weavers soon learn that the entire community is comprised of aliens from Zabvron, where the men bear children and everyone cries green goo from their ears.

The Zabvronians have been stationed on Earth for the past 10 years, disguised as humans, awaiting instructions from home, and the Weavers are the first humans they’ve had the opportunity to know. As it turns out, the pressures of marriage and parenthood are not exclusive to planet Earth. Two worlds will collide with hilarious consequences as everyone discovers they can “totally relate” and learn a lot from each other. – ABC

Score:     15 out of 100

Initial Impressions (July 20, 2012):  Stupid, dopey, and corny yet seemingly charming, heart-warming and endearing at the same time.  We thought this was cute yet utterly repulsive.  Kind of an odd dichotomy for an odd little show.

Shawn: Every season one show earns the honor of having the shortest review of the season for reaching new levels of suckitude© so high that trying to explain why it’s so awful would be pointless and dizzying.  The Neighbors is that show.  My review of The Neighbors is therefore is this:

What the holy f*ck did I just watch?

That is all.  Carry on.

Chance of Renewal:  0%

This show is so stupid we can’t see it lasting two months.

Watch The Neighborshere.

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About The Anti-Nerdist

Originally from Rochester, New York and has lived in Las Vegas, Nevada since 2003. Aside from being a huge fan of movies and television, he's a huge fan of Sci-Fi and in particular, Star Trek.
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